Election Day: Abe Lincoln Facts
In honor of Election Day, here are some fun facts about everybody’s favorite former President of the United States and the creator of ABC’s hit comedy, Modern Family, Abraham Lincoln.
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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln Facts:
- Abe Lincoln knit, and then wore, the first pair of Zubbas™ in 1825.
- Abe Lincoln once built an entire cabin out of empty Scotch bottles.
- Abe Lincoln only had one fear; people who were afraid of snakes.
- Abe Lincoln was the 16th President of the United States, but he was the 1st President of the “Guys With Awesome Beards & Face Moles” fan club.
- Abe Lincoln, after beating Ulysses S. Grant in a dance off, inadvertently coined the phrase, “You just got served” after Ulysses’s wife served Ulysses a glass of apple juice.
- Abe Lincoln considered creating his own political party called “Uncle Abe’s House Party,” but then decided to invent pancakes instead.
- Abe Lincoln, despite being a renowned speaker, was afraid of public speaking. He got over this fear when a close adviser told him to picture George Washington’s wife naked.
- Abe Lincoln once fought a bear, armed with just his comb and his ex-girlfriend’s journal. Abe didn’t win, but bears forever respected his tenacity.
- Abe Lincoln was a ghostwriter for the Hervé Villechaize’s autobiography. Villechaize was best known for his haunting portrayal of Tattoo on Fantasy Island.
- Abe Lincoln was starting the power forward for the Illinois County Jackrabbits Basketball team. He averaged 15.3 points, 7 rebounds, and 1.3 blocks per game.
- Abe Lincoln created Team Coco.
- Abe Lincoln once shattered a man’s pelvis for “Poking” him on Facebook.
- Abe Lincoln cut Randy Moss.
- Abe Lincoln once saved 12 orphans from a burning shed. One of those orphans grew up to be John Stamos.
- Abe Lincoln announced he was running for President during an hour long ESPN telecast entitled, “The Goddamn Decision.”
- Abe Lincoln’s original title for the “The Emancipation Proclamation” was “Uncle Abe’s Kick Ass Proclamation,” but Lincoln would eventually change the title after Fredrick Douglas advised him to stop using the words “Kick Ass” when naming things.
- Abe Lincoln’s beard shavings could grant the power of flight when ingested by an adult male. For an adult female, they could grant the power of indigestion
- Abe Lincoln’s blood type was Mountain Dew.
- Abe Lincoln set the Guinness Book World Record for hula hooping when he hula hooped nonstop through the first 4 months of his presidency.
- Abe Lincoln didn’t ride horses. Horses rode him.
- Abe Lincoln could only keep a secret for 38 days.
- Abe Lincoln would only eat foods that smelled like bacon.
- Abe Lincoln hid his money clip inside his face mole.
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